Starting Now
by sheisme-iamshe
Summary: Memories from the past are still haunting Rhys. He opens up about his fears to Sasha, who gives him her support. Set after Episode 5.


Screaming, people running, panic, terror; that was the only thing Rhys was aware of. He could feel the floor crumbling beneath him as he ran down the all too familiar halls of Helios. Everyone was running in different directions trying to find a way to escape the base as it started on its crash course towards Pandora. Suddenly Handsome Jack appeared before him.

"You're way better at killing people than I ever was." he sneered. Rhys tried to cover his ears, but his voice seemed to be echoing in his head, "How many people do you think were on Helios?" Jack whispered.

"You didn't give me a choice!" Rhys yelled.

"Really, cupcake?" Jack's words were now ringing in Rhys' ears, "Are you sure you weren't just trying to save your own skin?"

"No. NO!" He yelled back. Instantly visions started to race through Rhys' mind. Loaderbot saving him while being left behind, Helios falling to pieces behind him as his escape pod shot toward Pandora, the body he found in the rubble…

"I guess we really aren't so different, you and I, are we?" Jack hissed

Rhys awoke with a start, panting, his face covered in sweat. It took him a second to realize he was on Pandora in the base made from the remnants of Helios. He was sitting at the darkened kitchen table where he had been working on prototypes for Atlus the night before.

"Jesus Rhys! You scared the crap out of me!" he heard a voice behind him say.

Rhys squinted in the darkness to see Sasha, still in her pajamas, with a coffee pot in her uninjured hand. He glanced at the clock behind her. It was still pretty early in the morning.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to come down and make myself something hot to drink, sorry if I woke you. You were moaning a lot in your sleep...hey," Sasha said noticing his distressed look, "what's up?"

Rhys tried to calm his breathing, "It's... nothing. Just… just a bad dream." he said, his voice still shaking slightly.

Sasha took a step toward him, "Was it that bad?" she asked quietly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No!" Rhys said a little too harshly, "No, I think I just need some air"

Rhys stood from the table and walked past Sasha, her eyes following him as he went. He wandered out into the early morning air and sat down on a ledge overlooking the valley next to the base. He looked towards where the vault had once stood, now a flat rocky wasteland covered in a dim light. It was hard to believe that only a week had passed since they had opened the vault, It felt like so much longer.

Rhys sat there staring into the distance for several minutes before he heard footsteps behind him. Sasha made her way over to him, now wearing her old hoodie over top of her pajamas, carrying two mugs of steaming coffee in her good hand. She sat down beside Rhys, handing over one of the mugs.

"Thanks." Rhys said warmly, taking the cup, but not drinking from it.

There were a few minutes of silence before Sasha spoke up. "So, I'm going to ask again. Do you want to talk about it?"

Rhys looked down at his still full mug of coffee. "It's nothing, really. Just a nightmare I get sometimes. You really don't have to worry about it." He insisted, placing his drink on the ground beside him.

"Rhys," Sasha urged in a kind, but firm manner, "we've been through a lot together. I feel like we have reached a point where you can talk to me about this kind of thing. I'm not going to judge."

He looked over at Sasha's beautiful green eyes and saw that she meant what she said. Rhys took a deep breath before responding.

"It was about the destruction of Helios. It… was all my fault. All those people…" Rhys said looking up at the now clearly visible moon.

Sasha was stunned silent for a moment. Rhys had not told anyone about this, not even Vaughn. Everyone had thought he was over it already.

"Rhys that… it wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. I made the choice. I sacrificed so many people… just to get rid of Jack." Rhys said, despair in his voice.

"You aren't the only one who's had to kill people," Sasha whispered, putting her hand lightly on his arm, "All of us have…"

"It's not the same," Rhys interjected, turning slightly away from her, "You all have had to kill because you needed to survive. You killed them because they were going to kill you. My actions lead to the deaths of so many who did nothing to me. There had to have been another way."

"And you think you didn't have the right to survive?" Sasha asked, making Rhys look back her, "You made the only choice available at the time, who knows what Jack would have done if you hadn't stopped him when you did."

"But the fact that I was able to make that decision at all, what kind of a person does that make me?" he asked, his voice hollow.

Sasha sighed and leaned her head lightly against Rhys' shoulder, making his heart skip a beat. "You know you've changed a lot since we first met. Do you think that the Rhys from before would have thought about this so much?" she asked sincerely.

"That's because of you." Rhys thought to himself. Since he had come to Pandora, watching how Sasha lived had changed a lot of how he viewed the planet and people's lives in general. Seeing her resolve and strength made the feelings he had for her grow more and more. It made him _want_ to change, to become a man worthy of someone so special. And yet…

"I guess I'm scared. I want to become a better person. I want to make Atlus into something better. But, what am I willing to do to accomplish my goals? What if I'm becoming the opposite of what I want to be? What if I'm becoming like… Handsome Jack?" Rhys pondered in a nervous tone.

Sasha leaned back to look up at Rhys, who was now pointedly avoiding eye contact.

"Ironic, isn't it?" he laughed half-heartedly, "How I used to want to be like him, and now it's what scares me more than anything."

Rhys made a quick glance toward Sasha, but her expression was hard to read.

"Handsome Jack died alone, with no friends or family." he said in a despondent voice, "I guess that's what scares me most."

Sasha instantly turned to look at him, a stern look on her face.

"Give me your hand." she said

Rhys looked at her in surprise, but complied. She took his hand in her unbandaged one and looked him in the eyes.

"You are not like Handsome Jack." she stated with so much conviction that Rhys was stunned for a moment.

"I've seen the man you are and the man you've become, you are so much more than Jack ever was. The fact that you are still thinking of what happened to Helios is proof of that." Sasha insisted while still gripping Rhys' hand, " I know you, and this won't be something that's easy to let go of. It's a heavy burden, but you'll learn from it and become better from it. I know you will."

Rhys looked at Sasha in awe. This woman. This amazingly brave, beautiful, determined woman. She'd seen him for who he was and somehow that was enough. No matter how the world may weigh on him, as long as she was there it would not seem so heavy. It would be all he needed. He knew at that moment he loved her more than anything.

"And you better believe that if you become anything like Handsome Jack, I'll be there to give you the biggest ass-kicking of your life." Sasha continued with a smirk.

Rhys couldn't help but laugh, "You promise?"

Sasha grinned as she moved her hand until their pinkies were intertwined. "Promise."

Just then, the sun rose over the distant hill, bathing them in a warm light. The sky bright with colours so amazing one would not hesitate to call it magical.

"Wow…" Rhys said looking upward, "It's so…"

"Romantic?" Sasha giggled lightly

Rhys smiled down at her and suddenly the space between them was gone, their lips interlocked. Her lips soft and warm, his firm and sure. Their tongues danced together ever so gently. He raised his hand to caress her perfect cheek. Feelings and memories rushed through Rhys' head. Their first pinky promise, the time spent together in the dome, how gorgeous she looked with the flower he gave her, the way she held him when they had reunited with each other again. Her laugh, her expressions, her smiles, she was everything and God, did he love her. After what felt like forever, and yet still too little time, they broke apart looking at each other brightly. Rhys leaned his forehead against hers and smiled wide.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time."

"I know," Sasha beamed, "Me too."

"Sasha! Rhys!" They heard a voice call.

The two of them jumped apart from each other just as fast as they had come together. Rhys could feel his face turn bright red. Fiona came around the corner to stand behind them.

"There you two are! We're making breakfast so we could use your…" Fiona's voice trailed away as she noticed the pair looking in opposite directions of each other, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Sasha said a little too quickly, "just having a morning chat."

"Right," Fiona smirked, "whatever you say."

Fiona turned and walked back into the base. Sasha and Rhys stood up to follow her in. As they reached the door Sasha turned to look at him once more.

"Hey," Sasha said, a soft smile on her face, "no matter what happened in the past, we face what's next together. Starting now."

Rhys grinned back at her and nodded, turning back to look at the sunrise one more time before following her in.


End file.
